My very first violin teacher always said that she would never send a student to a competition because competitions are for horses, not musicians. I don’t know what your take on this is, but I just love the odd bit of competition. Unfortunately, these days I am rather past the age of violin competitions, so I settled for the next best thing and signed up for an ABRSM violin exam. I decided to go for level 5 for no other reason than that I thought you had to start at level 5 because I misread the info on the website. By the time I realized that what I really needed to do was sit a theory exam, I had already signed up, paid for and started practicing for the violin one. The only thing that made sense at this point was to go ahead.
If you believe that all the accounts of Britain’s classical music sector being in crisis are over the top, I suggest you try looking for a capable accompanist on this island. While practice itself went smoothly, I was struggling to find an accompanist up until a week and a half before the exam. Again, it has to be said that reading the instructions in the booklet more carefully would not have hurt me, because it was rather late in the process when I realized that I needed to bring an accompanist of my own. It was even later when it dawned on me that I no longer live in the same country as my piano teacher. After that, I asked no fewer six different people if they would act as my accompanist and was turned down five times. I was reluctant to ask the sixth person because she was totally out of my league. She said yes. And she was absolutely fabulous. She became my anchor because I knew that if everything else failed, the examiner would still get to hear good music from my accompanist.
Words fail me when I want to describe how nervous I was before the exam. Let’s just say that I have not come that close to throwing up in public in a very long time. I was seriously concerned that I would fail the exam, everyone would laugh at me, I would lose my job because who wanted to employ an arts marketer incapable of both reading the ABRSM instructions and passing the exam, I would end up under the bridge and my parents would get a call from the Embassy telling them I’d been lost. In my desperation, I did something I only do in times of utmost duress: I turned to Jesus and asked him if he would be able to do his ‘turning water into wine’-trick and turn me into a decent violinist, just for the duration of the exam. If you think my reaction to the exam was over the top, let me assure you that I always panic on that scale before I have to play in front of people. That’s also the reason why I never get angry with the musicians at the orchestra I work for if they start acting strangely before a concert.
The morning of the exam was one of ups and downs. The lady at the piano shop where the exam was held was ever so nice until I made the grave mistake of wanting to place my violin on top of a piano. That was a no-no. The violin needed to be placed on a chair. Let me reiterate that. A CHAIR! That just invites disaster. You don’t place violins on chairs if you like your violin. Chairs are made for people’s bums and the occasional pair of feet if you want to change a light bulb or flee from a rodent, but not violins. When I finally walked into the room, I felt like walking to my own execution. But someone must have taken pity on me, because a little miracle happened. My accompanist started playing and at the exact same moment, someone began using a pneumatic drill on the pavement just on top of our heads. I relaxed. No matter what I played, the examiner would not be able to hear me. From then on, I just sailed through the pieces and after we were done, my accompanist said that this was the best I’d ever played.
I left the exam in high spirits. Maybe Jesus didn’t turn water into wine, but he graciously messed with the environment so much that my watery playing might have tasted like a delicacy to the poor examiner. My playing sure did look impressive. Whether it also sounded impressive nobody will ever know. I am still unsure if my violin teacher was right and competitions are only for horses. But I do know that the odd exam here and there won’t do me any harm and can teach you an awful lot. Apart from the fact that I’ve learned that if you need an accompanist on this island, you better start early, I have also learned that it pays to be able to read. That will come in very useful when I sit my ABRSM theory exam – the one I should have signed up for in the first place.
