In the past two weeks I have done some thinking about what I can contribute to make people’s lives better in this dire situation. For lack of any useable medical knowledge, I decided to focus on what I know. A few people have confided in me that they find working from home challenging, so as someone who has done this for more than a decade, I have written down Gabi’s Top 10 Tips for Happy Homeworking. If you follow the instructions and avoid the pitfalls I warn you about, I can practically guarantee you a happy and productive workday in the sanctity of your home.
So, let’s get started:
1. Get up
This one might seem self-evident, but many a workday has been lost because I believed that if I just let my body rest, it would eventually thank me by mysteriously springing into action at some point during the day, place itself in front of the computer and work away at tremendous speed, thus shortening my workday by at least 50% while producing increased output and improved quality of work. That was wrong. If I let my body rest, it does just that: rest. Therefore, I want you to set your alarm for the same time that you’d normally get up in the morning and after snoozing it 5 times, roll out of bed and begin your day although each and every fiber in your body tells you not to.
2. Brush your teeth, wash your face and comb your hair
It should go without saying that a pandemic is NOT a good enough reason to let yourself go. And who is to say you won’t see anyone all day? The postman might come to bring your eviction notice and we really don’t want to make the situation worse by having bad breath, do we? On the upside, this is the perfect time to be experimental and try out that new hairstyle you’ve always wanted to and never dared to have. Shave your head, grow a beard or, like myself, spend some time trying to get a French braid into your hair. The other day I even used some facial scrub I had found while cleaning my room and was pleased to see that I look much better without five layers of dead skin on my face.
3. Get dressed
I know it is tempting to work in your pajamas. You’ve wanted to do this all your life. But believe me, there is nothing that jump-starts your tired brain like a decent pair of pants (or a lovely skirt, should you be so inclined). Mind you, there’s no need to overdo it, and getting dressed means something different for everybody. My brother, for example, dresses up in his regular work clothes (including his fancy shirts) to be in top shape should a video call interrupt his busy workday. I assume he also wants to look good for his wife. For me, getting dressed means I wear the good sweatpants and a bra. I also avoid clothes with cartoon characters on them (that was an unnecessary scramble for a sweatshirt to cover up Bambi grinning from my chest right before my last video call).
4. Have a designated start time
Whatever you do, please beware of the ‘If I start a couple of minutes late, I’ll just work a couple of minutes late’ trap. Tempus fugit, people, and those couple of minutes can easily turn into hours and days if you’re not careful. And believe me, you’re going to hate yourself when it’s a sunny Sunday afternoon and you are stuck behind your computer because you started late 27 days in a row and there’s a deadline looming. In order to avoid this fate, your designated start time needs to be treated with the same degree of respect you afford your normal start time at work, and any infraction has to be treated appropriately. Should you be late for work (especially if this happens repeatedly), find a mirror, frown at yourself and give yourself a serious dressing down. Then tell yourself you’ll do better tomorrow. Do not add those minutes to the end of your work day, but wallow in your own guilt for a while.
5. Set a time limit for non-productive computer activities
Let’s be very honest: it’s far from perfect that the device you’re working on also gives you access to social media, Netflix, YouTube, Spotify and the whole freaking world wide web, and that there’s nobody to look over your shoulder and threaten you with dismissal should you not curtail your activities on those platforms. In an ideal world, you’d manage to never get stuck on Facebook, fall down the YouTube hole, or accidentally send your inner researcher out to find a cure for all the ills of mankind. But that’s not how this works. Even at the best of times, we slip up. I have accidentally opened Netflix on more than one occasion (and am wondering what Freud would say about the frequency with which those accidents happen). If you mess up, take a 10-minute break on your medium of choice and then close it for the rest of the day. If it happens again, repeat. You’ll get the hang of it eventually.
6. Ignore any housework that needs doing
If you spend lots of time at home, there is no way to avoid seeing how filthy some parts of it have become and there is also no way to avoid acknowledging the fact that too little time spent at home was not the main reason you never clean. The good news is that with a lot of time on your hands you can now do both the cleaning and some serious thinking about why you don’t clean. However, work time is NOT the right time to get your house in order. Any housework, apart from cleaning up your early morning coffee spill caused by a rush to your computer because you don’t want to be late, needs to be done either before or after work. If you think that’s an easy one, you have no idea how persuasive dust can be when it wants you to come over and vacuum it away.
7. Take breaks
Remember the unnecessary banter with your colleagues, the liters of tea drunk in gleeful oblivion while someone tells you about a crappy customer, the gazillions of calories ingested after you’ve lost another round of the ‘Ah, I really shouldn’t! – Well, give me the damn biscuit!’ game? Let me tell you something. That’s not wasted time. That’s time you need to unwind and recharge so as to remain productive (and in my case civil) throughout a workday. When working from home, you not only need to take breaks, but I up the game by telling to take breaks without guilt. The reason you’re working from home is not because you’re a slacker. You’re saving the world here and you deserve a break every now and then.
8. Have a designated end time
I am assuming you have so far thoroughly enjoyed your workday, have been courteous, punctual and productive and could keep going forever. But even the best things must end at some point, which is why you need a designated end time. As your end time approaches, you will mysteriously remember all the things you wanted to do that day and also why they were really important and time-sensitive. Do the most important one so you can keep up the impression (in front of your co-workers and yourself) that you are a person who turns things around quickly and write the rest of the tasks down. You can do them early the next morning when you have fighting chance of getting them right. If you believe something absolutely cannot wait, you are most probably mistaken. This is your brain on adrenaline, so ignore it and listen to me. Respect your designated end time and if you find you can’t, go back to the mirror and berate yourself for spending all that time on social media during your workday.
9. Have an end-of-work ritual
If you’re working from home, it can be tricky to let go of work, especially if your workplace is two steps away from your bed, as is the case in my room. For this reason, you need a good end-of-work ritual. Take a shower, get changed (goodbye bra, hello leotard-print leggings), go for a walk or do whatever is necessary to make sure your mind and body understand that it’s time to unwind. If your constitution is similar to mine, you might also want to include an activity that allows you to let go of all the abuse you managed not to hurl at your fellow human beings. I personally like running or – and this one’s a special tip – singing a dramatic opera aria really badly and at full volume. It allows you to vent anger while seeming incredibly sophisticated.
10. Do something nice with the rest of your day
Just to be clear here, a solid homeworking day can knock the life out of you even if you do it right. Therefore, you deserve to have a nice evening filled with activities that lift your spirits and recharge your mind and body. And now repeat after me: I will not look at e-mails after my designated end-of-work time! I really mean it. If something really urgent comes up, rest assured that people will call you. If they don’t have your number, they are not important enough to have been given your number and thus have no business messing with your hard-earned free evening. Now is your time to unwind and to make sure that you’ll wake up tomorrow morning well rested and ready to start another splendid day saving the world by working from home.
