How to deal with uncertainty

When I talked to my sister-in-law the other day, we agreed that in spite of the pandemic and the world going to pieces, our lives haven’t changed all that dramatically. As proud members of the precariat (formerly ‘the penniless artist’), we are used to not knowing when and where our next job and thus our next batch of money will come from. We also realized that if you’re not used to this, it must be awfully frightening. That is horrible and we feel for you. But on the upside, there are ways to deal with this kind of uncertainty. And because I never thought I’d be in a position where I could give other people advice, I am all the more eager to share my wisdom. Here are a few suggestions that have helped me deal with the uncertainty that comes with both freelance life and a pandemic.

Accept that the situation is truly and utterly crap

The majority of all people on this planet have never lived through a pandemic and I suspect that the handful of people who have lived through the Spanish flu have a rather patchy memory of it. This is not a first for humanity, but this is a first for many of us. Therefore, you need to accept that we are dealing with a stressful and disempowering situation, which means that if you haven’t mastered the art of Zen, you’re going to be on edge and irritable. Mind you, that doesn’t mean that you are allowed to be horrible to other people (because one should generally not be horrible to other people and other people are currently also on edge and irritable, so you might really regret your next outburst). What you need to be is kind but firm, to yourself and others. That means I expect you to go through your routine as best as you can without harming anyone, and if you don’t manage to do your morning Yoga, you just don’t do your morning Yoga without beating yourself up, and only secretly curse the useless bastard who first put it into the minds of people that this was a good idea.

Stay in touch with other people

As both an introvert and a misanthrope, I am not known for promoting social contact, so the fact that I am telling you to reach out to other humans should tell you that I mean business. There are three reasons why I want you to pick up the phone, or for the especially adventurous among us, make a video call. 1. You need to talk to process your feelings. 2. Other people need to talk to process their feelings. Provided this does not turn into a whine fest, talking to other people who are in a similar situation is one of the best things you can do for your mental health. I remember one particularly difficult time when I was feeling extremely frustrated, sat down with a fellow colleague and the first thing she said was, ‘I am feeling extremely frustrated’. It was like a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders because I felt so understood. I was not being an asshole because I wasn’t grateful to have a roof over my head and food on the table. I was frustrated because I was in a frustrating situation. Therefore, build each other up. And who do you think will get a call first when business picks up again and someone has a job opening? That is reason no.3, by the way. Did you think I’d forgotten?

Manage your finances

I know that looking at your bank account can feel like looking into the barrel of a gun, and while I understand that you’re tempted to practice your ostrich pose and put your head in the sand, now is not the time to do so. I am planning to have a separate instalment on how to manage your finances if there are not really any finances to manage at a later point in time, but for the moment, let me tell you that the only way to manage your finances is to look at them frankly and assess if you need help from someone. Believe me, people are a lot keener to help than you might think. Everyone knows that things are tricky financially for many people at the moment, and I have been offered financial support, a COVID-loan and a chat about my rent, all without having to ask for it. So please do take a good look at your financial situation, do the math and then take an educated decision about whether you need to panic or not.

Focus on what you know

The other day my mother, the queen of backhanded criticism (which is the opposite of a backhanded compliment in that it sounds like criticism but actually builds you up) told me that I really needn’t bother coming home because the Austrian classical music scene was struggling as much as the UK one and nobody was waiting there for me. Then she told me I was well educated and experienced and the thing to do was make the best of it, i.e. a list. That’s what I want you to do as well. Let’s assume that not everyone will be able to return to the job they had before that person ate the pangolin. To be prepared, you need to know what else you could do and for that you need a list. Write down all your competencies and the things you could imagine doing. Now take out anything that’s illegal or morally questionable. Now put prostitution back on the list. Where I come from sex workers are legally considered business owners and they deserve our respect. I don’t want to hear otherwise.

Seek help

I do realize that some of us are stuck deeper in shit than others. If you have the impression that you will not be able to lift yourself up by your bootstraps because you’ve had to sell your boots or are too distracted to find them, please seek help. The bad news is that seeking help is horribly embarrassing at first, but the good news is that asking for help repeatedly works like desensitization therapy and you don’t notice the embarrassment so much any longer. Admittedly, it can take a bit of a nudge to ask for help. I always thought I’d rather die than ask for help but when I was stuck in my apartment with a fever one day and had run out of food, I decided that dying is overrated and called my brother. He brought food, company and flowers. So please call that helpline if you’re on the verge of having a mental breakdown, seek refuge in that shelter before you get beaten to pulp and ask for that loan before you file for bankruptcy. You’d be surprised at how willing people are to help. It makes them feel good about themselves. And it makes them feel good about you. (If you don’t believe me, please google ‘The Ben Franklin Effect’).

Limit your exposure to the media (especially social media)

Please, please, please, I beg you, implore you, beseech you not to poison your mind with too much screen time. I know we all want to stay on top of things information-wise, but let’s be honest, government advice doesn’t change much at the moment, and if something truly important happens, you can be sure that someone will call you and moan about it. If you do not heed my advice, not only will your anxiety levels go through the roof, but you will start to hate humanity with a ferocity that makes hellfire seem like a well-contained barbeque. I have recently started to mute and unfriend people I got along with reasonably well before the pandemic because I hate how they respond to the situation. That’s not to say that everyone is being horrible these days. The truth is that people are being horrible and you’ve got no emotional resources to deal with anyone’s bullshit. So please stay away from the screen unless you’re sitting down to write that novel or dispense unwanted advice to fellow humans.

Empower yourself by helping others

The single most important thing you can do for yourself in this situation is to empower yourself by helping others. No matter how screwed you are at the moment, believe me, there is something you can do for others that goes beyond offering them a daily dose of profanities. This will take a fair deal of thinking, but I assure you that you’ve got something to offer that is of use to others. If you’re unconvinced just take me as an example: I’ve got no medical knowledge, am not nearly fit enough to do any farm work and supermarkets cause me so much anxiety that the thought of working in one makes me want to institutionalize myself. However, I know how not only to survive but to thrive if the world around you goes to pieces, how to make the best of a limited budget and how to create work when there is none to be found, knowledge which is not only useful in these times, but which I am also more than keen to share with you. You should most definitely also donate some money. If you’ve got a roof over your head and food on the table, you’ve got it better than many others, so go and donate a fiver to your favourite charity or a foodbank. If you can’t afford that, why not give them a call and ask if there is anything you can do to help? It will take you mind off things and convince you that you are still a capable and useful human being who has an awful lot to contribute.

Much of the current situation is beyond our control. However, we still have the ability to shape our responses to the current crisis. Instead of one day telling your grandchildren the story of the horrible virus that shut down the economy, how about you live life in a way that will allow you to tell them of the time you learned to deal with your feelings, built up your friends and family, managed to live on a budget, became aware of hidden skills, learned to ask for help, stayed away from destructive media and lifted up other people who had it far worse than you. But please don’t tell them that your list of emergency jobs included prostitution and that you never managed to do the bloody morning yoga. That really won’t make you look good and there are a few things that should better remain hidden.